Fuuuuck.
- Logical inconsistencies
- Canonical violations
- Missed opportunities
- Long, pointless scenes that tell us nothing new
- Rambling misdirections mistaken for ’suspense’
- Seemingly arbitrary character reversals
…plus your average features of the amateur writer:
- Deux ex Machina (over & over & over)
- “Telling not Showing”
- “On the nose” (ie, utterly lacking subtext; think “soap opera”. Ie, Sue says, “I’m going to Jane’s house to yell at her”. Scene: “Sue walks into Jane’s house, & starts yelling”. Gee thanks, I like my pablum well-milled.)
….sounds like your average fan-fic, no?
No wait– this isn’t happening… are you trying to tell me, THAT’S HOW IT ENDS?!!!!
Repeat after me–
“Dear J.K… We Expected More.”
…& please don’t trot-out the hoary rationalization, “hey, these are Children’s Books, they don’t have to be Great Literature”.
Um, here’s a quick list of “children’s books” which are enjoyed by both children and adults (& don’t suffer from that ‘list of shame’ above):
Lord of the Rings (books and movies)
Chronicles of Narnia
Original Star Wars trilogy
Xmen 1 & 2
So wtf happened????
Rowling got a little full of herself. This started around #4; the book suddenly tripled in size, filled w/ tons of overstuffed scenes which had been cut in #1-3… but now she was Famous & her editors got squelched.
Rowling got a little burned-out. By #6, she was just putting in time, blithely filling her pages with “I-meant-to-do-that-all-along” & seemingly unconcerned that characters literally millions of people have grown to love, were acting in utterly uncharacteristic ways. Earth to Rowling: we love characters who are real, & feel betrayed when they’re not being themselves… & esp. when ppl like you tell us, “no, wait, this really does make sense; this is how you should think”. No it doesn’t; no we won’t.
Rowling got Hollywood Envy. After watching ppl in a different country cut her books apart (& having her version of the screenplays summarily dismissed), she started packing her books with Hollywood Moments… Not once in the first 3 books was I thinking about movies; but come book 4, I start seeing scenes written not for character development, but for Production Value. And then by #6, it’s just pastiche of scenes & imagery directly lifted from LOTR, Xmen, & even Matrix 2, for bog’s sake.
All in all–
Harry Potter Jumped the Shark around book 4. #5 almost regains its footing, but #6 & #7 just disappear into the chum.
“So what?” you ask.
“Why all the dismay & angst?”
People– it’s call “missed opportunities”. We wouldn’t care if none of the books were any good; there’s whole sections of bookstores filled with rows upon rows of fantasy & sci-fi which are just regurgitated, cliched pablum with shiny covers.
But Harry #1-#3 are Quite Good; enjoyable, page-turners chock-full with the joy-of-discovery and the Wonder of a whole new, magical (literally) world to discover. Rowling created a terrific universe, & some fascinating characters to play in it. When she began, & was still full of inspiration & enthusiasm, she made something Larger than herself, & we all couldn’t wait to See What Happened Next.
In her own way, I’d call her series the book equivalent of “Star Wars”. The first three [ie, Episodes 4, 5, 6] have their faults, sure… but are much greater than the sum of their parts, & continue to inspire Delight in both young and old. But then came “Episode 1″, & all of a sudden it felt like the author didn’t believe in the magic of the first 3, or had perhaps forgotten. Joy, wonder, discovery… all gone, substituted for some bad behavior that was more ‘turgid’ than “dark”.
And as the characters flatten, Evil becomes hackneyed. Voldemort’s Death Eaters lose their mystery & act for all the world like board-room bureaucrats w/ petty rivalries; even Voldemort himself becomes just a johnny-one-note, “me so smart & I kill people”. This Won’t Do; the measure of a Hero is the strength, malevolence, & even brilliance of the Evil arrayed against him. In short, even a dork on a desert planet can become a Jedi Master when he’s up against a Dark Lord of the Sith, who’s very breathing sounds like the Earth is wrenching itself apart, & who commands mystical powers which can literally do just that.
Vader was brilliant, conflicted, mysterious, & had plans upon plans (& an incredible, tragic backstory). Voldemort is a snake-eyed 1/2-sane psychopath who Just Wants to Kill Harry & screams & throws tantrums when he’s thwarted. See the difference?
But not only does our Main Guy Potter step-back & let himself be forever ‘guided’ (even Obi Wan has to get outta the way for Luke to start to shine), but even his Guides themselves are puerile. Consider Dumbledore’s sudden new trope in #6, “me so brainy & I know what’s best for you”. No one’s ever called him “brainy” before, & now even Hagrid says it twice. Jeeesh– the frickin’ ‘partial Voldemort’ Riddle in “Chamber” had more characterization & depth than did Dumbledore in all his “I know best” & “I wish I had more time” scenes in #6 (let-alone #7, in that gawd-awful “in-the-Matrix” moment).
…and since this is a Mostly Filmmaking blog[sic], let me just say, I pity the poor bastard who has to shoot #6.
Ah gee, there goes Harry w/ his head in a bucket^H^H^H^H ‘pensieve’ again. “Harry the Ostrich”, watching everyone else live their lives. Watching as others do all the magic. Pissing & moaning as no one listens to him. Frozen stiff while his Mentor gets dead. Oh boo hoo I can’t play Quiddich or snog my BF’s sister. Hey, that right there’s one fascinating, dynamic, “take-the-world-by-the-horns” character to watch, isn’t it? “The Boy who Pouted”. Here’s my $10, lemme wait in line…
At least in #5, Harry steps-up & becomes a leader, creating & training the DA, & [finally] showing that his own courage, if not magic, is worthy of awe (if not for the first time better than Hermione’s).
But #6? Fully half the book is exposition, telling us Riddle’s life story… & it doesn’t ever tell us why he’s like who he is!!!! Um, so he’s a bitter bastard w/ a crappy childhood… Fine, just like everyone else in homeroom. And sure he wants to have everyone worship his ass… um, that’s normal teenage angst, & he already is “Best Boy” & being shortlisted for Minister. So, you’re still not telling me why does he decide to become so evil?! “Just Because?” Gee thanks!
And does the fact that Dumbledore is to BLAME for the rise of Voldemort ever once get addressed? Discovered him, brought him to Hogwarts, sheltered him, and never warned anyone he was a vicious bastard. For fuck’s sake– that’s pretty awesome angst right there; even a crappy author with that kind of setup could make some hints about “the nature of evil” &/or “the perils of hubris”… Um, Obi-Wan & Vader, anyone?
Worst of all– in #6 Harry is back to “I ain’t got no magic of my own”, obsessively relying on Snape’s potion-manual, & full of angst that all his powers are just leftovers from Voldemort’s curse. Is it just me, or has all the ‘character development’ from #5 kinda disappeared?
And now w/ #7, Harry is a passive character again, lead-around by the nose, & finally defeating Voldemort on a technicality, bolstered by an 11th-hour “he’s not really dead” moment. Shit. There was more passion, action, magic, catharsis, & even character-development in Mrs. Weasley’s waxing of Bellatrix… & that took 1/2 as long.
But I’m not bitter 
… let me leave w/ 2 good things to say about #7:
1) FINALLY the ‘good guys’ don’t have to be frickin’ victims all the time. #4-6 were like paeons to “evil guys get all the fun”, while the good guys just get caught, punished, tortured, & have crappy useless spells to protect them. In #7, the good guys finally let fly w/ some righteous magic, if not some of the 7 Unforgiveable’s.
2. Dumbledore is redeemed… however tacked-on & 1/2-assed the explanation, at least he’s not going-out as a whiny bitch blown over a battlement.
IN CONCLUSION:
There’s a fucking difference between characters with “shades of grey”, and inconsistent, cliched, amateurish writing.
I’m only pissed at myself that I didn’t have the sand to toss the book aside a la Dorothy Parker, when by page 30 the Big Reveal of the trussed-up person turned-out to be an inconsequential nobody, while meanwhile absolutely zero character development has happened. At least in #6, by that point we knew Snape was “bound” to do something nasty; here they’re all gibbering at a table, “we so evil”, & “here’s exactly what’s gonna happen next chapter”. That’s pretty great suspense, right there.
I never watched Matrix 3, nor Xmen 3, nor Aliens 3. I Knew Better, & steered clear… & thereby still am able to love Matrix 1, Xmen 1 & 2, & Aliens 1 & 2.
I wish I’d done the same w/ “Star Wars Episode 1,2,3″… they’re so awful they caused blow-back in my brain, & made me question if the original “Star Wars” (ep’s 4,5,6) were that good after all. But whew– they were.
And here? I wish I’d never read #6 or #7… I could leave w/ the idea of Harry swearing at the cruel world, & heading off into the forest to practice his Art & to one day re-emerge & tear Voldemort down. No pensieve bullshit, no “let me ask everyone else what I should do”, no pseudo-mystical ‘coming back from the dead’ & ‘this has all happened before’ bored network-writer’esque cop-outs I’ve seen before on “Matrix 2″ & “Alias”…
…just a straight “you killed my father, prepare to die”.
Sounds like a terrific fucking movie, right there.
