I believe we’re all completely free, b/c we’re completely responsible for who-we-are…
I believe no one ‘makes’ us do anything; we always have a choice [the foundation of mysticism].
I believe ‘feeling pissed’ is just someone else’s energy (attention, expectation, judgement, competition, and/or ‘they-know-better’) in our space. Thus, getting un-pissed requires getting rid of that energy… & not getting pissed means not letting it in in the first place. But–
I believe it’s basically impossible to ‘keep’ ppl from dumping on you; you have to deal w/ it on your own end.
I believe all your ‘needs’ must be resolved from within, else you’ll always be in some state of “need someone else to change”… which is a recipe for disaster. People might (temporarily) change their behavior, if you hound them… but they won’t change how they feel, & they most definitely will not change who they are, just b/c someone else ‘needs’ them to change.
I believe w/ most ppl, one can learn to be less sensitive, less ‘available’ for their judgement/competition (competition = “You’re not okay exactly as you are; you need to change”). But with others… just like the bullfighter, all you can do is ‘get out of the way’. Expecting yourself to be ‘impervious’ (ie, “blown all your pictures”) at all times is just silly; even Jesus (Buddha, Lao Tzu, etc) occasionally lost his space.
I believe what you do & do not know about somebody else has zero effect on your own ability to change & to grow. If there is a dependency on someone else changing for you to change, that is co-dependence & really gets you no-where. (this, fwiw, completely negates the validity of born-agains, & born-again-like’s such as Scientology, est/’Landmark Forum’, & various other ‘multi-level marketed’ philosophies).
I believe there is no such thing as “bad experience”. The only bad experience is regretted experience, b/c then you’re not mining it to its deepest potential. You are, every day, the sum total of everything you have ever done. Your life-experience is your ‘pearl-of-great-price’, & nobody anywhere has your ‘special blend’. To try to ‘forget’, or ‘pretend’ something didn’t happen, is just a natural tendency that occurs when we haven’t completed our integration process… in other words, denial.
One of the most overwhelming, if not worst, experiences happened to me at Tae Kwon Do when I was 16yrs old. The big black guy had me lined-up, & threw a murderous spinning back-side kick. And me, in my infinite stupidity, tried to back-away (never back-away; always dodge to the side). He nailed me, knocked-me-out right thru my pads, slammed me up against the wall. I was unconscious before I hit the floor. & when I woke? Little Master Na, leaning over me shaking his finger:
Master Na: “Good experience!!”
Me: “Huh? (Are you kidding me?!)”
i wanted to cry, to run, to die… but mostly to breathe, which felt like fire.
But you know what? years later, I realized something– I was a lot less afraid about getting hit. Why? b/c I’d been hit before, really hard, knocked-out standing-up… & I wasn’t dead. I’m still walking-around. & I believe– that’s actually really really empowering.
I believe “true needs” are fundamental… like food & water (but even those are flexible, if you train yoga). Everything else is some level of ‘want’. Kind of like Id & Ego.
I believe a really powerful ‘way-of-living’ goes like this:
- Choose your outcome
- Work towards that goal in all interactions, &
- Bite-sized steps [cf, Pryor's Don't Shoot the Dog]
But you know what? Sometimes if the mind is in a bad habit, no amount of ‘good techniques’ available will help pry you from that bad habit. You’ll just feel frustrated, knowing what you “should” be doing, but feeling powerless (or at least demotivated) to actually do it.
Example– my taiji teacher is highly skilled at repatterning experience… from visualization, projection, induced healing, etc… & once accidentally slammed his toe w/ a pickaxe.
-We all eagerly asked, “which [pain-reducing] technique did you use?”
-He smiled ruefully. “Pretty-much, leaned-over, grabbed my foot, hopped-around & yelled ‘Owwwww!!’”
We’re all human.
I believe there’s a panopoly of tremendously powerful modalities which are extremely effective for changing Who-You-Are. In fact, there’s so many now, all equipped with profuse writings & capable teachers (who actually want you to learn), that there’s really no excuse for sitting on your ass, if you’re unsatisfied w/ yourself. Unless you’re not sure ‘which’ to choose. And thus…
I believe, first & last, you must follow your Own Intuition.
I believe ‘baggage’ never stopped anyone from having relationships; just look at how many guys on death row have girl-friends(!!) Instead– ask yourself are you ready, regardless of what everyone else thinks. When you are, you’ll find someone else, toot-sweet.
I believe using empowering metaphors ‘magically’ changes the world (or at least the one around you) into a better place. And if it doesn’t, I believe I won’t notice
I believe I’m done.